Personal Challenge: Being Assertive

Don't expect people to know what you need. 

Don't be afraid to say NO. 

Always speak from your heart. 

Today, I hit a breaking point. Maybe my first breaking point as well. After almost one month here, it was overdue. But the interesting thing was, it wasn't about missing my family or boyfriend or friends....it was about needing more independence and freedom. I have been feeling rather suffocated. I felt as if I had these great expectations of me while I am here. I felt as if I had to fulfill requirements. But the strange thing was, I did not know the requirements or expectations. It was as if every day I had this big weight on my shoulders, and it eventually wore me down. I am such a people pleaser! I want them to think I am a hard worker, and I want them to think I am dedicated to the school...but I also need a balance. Having to speak Spanish all day long, and being surrounded by the language all day long is literally exhausting! Sometimes, I just need some peace and quiet, or some down time. But lately, I have just been go go go, and constantly by Jackelyn's side. I have been feeling guilty for wanting to go on a run, wanting to take a nap, or wanting to read a book. I can't explain why, other than the fact that I felt selfish to want to take time for myself. But in the end, I am learning that everyone needs some "me time" here and there. And, I have been going rather crazy without it. Today I had the courage to talk with Diane about exactly how I was feeling. I flat out asked her, "How do you think I am doing? How do you think things are going? And what do you expect of me during my time here?" After hearing her answers, I realized I am already exceeding her expectations. I then shared with her exactly how I have been feeling. I was so honest with her, and got a little emotional as well. Speaking the truth like that, and being assertive is one of my weaknesses.  I realized I was wrong to think that I couldn't take time for myself. She understood completely! I feel so much better already after this conversation, and I am SO glad I talked with her and got this figured out. Or else, I would have bottled it up for the next two months and been miserable. It would have been one big misunderstanding. This way, I can hopefully find a good balance between hard work and free time, and be very content!